Crossroad Women and Family Services, Inc.
Post Office Box 2421, Kingston, NY 12402
Crossroad Women and Family Services, Inc.
Post Office Box 2421, Kingston, NY 12402
Crossroad Women and Family Services, Inc.
"Healing the Hearts of Women and Children Since 2004"
How domestic violence affects children
Did you know that children can be deeply impacted by violence? When a child is exposed to fighting, screaming and yelling is it traumatizing and leaves emotional, mental, spiritual wounds. When family violence is taking place in a home environment it makes a child's world feel hopeless and helpless. Their hearts are broken and need healing.
IMAGINE seeing someone you love hit, kicked, punched, strangled and stomped by a person you love and thought loved your family member. Family violence is confusing for a child and it makes them feel "unsafe" "unloved" "scared" "anxious" "depressed" "overly compliant". It causes a child to have nightmares, stomach aches, poor eating habits. Bed wetting, problems in school, difficulty with learning and concentration due to worrying about loved ones. Children exposed to domestic violence have difficulty making friends or keeping friends. They tend to run away or stay away from home, get involved with drugs, alcohol, gangs, unhealthy sexual relationships and risk pregnancy early.
They struggle with feelings of rejection and isolation. The violence is often expressed in their artwork, writings and music. They tend to have a history of disciplinary problems, expulsions, and chronic school absences. Sometimes they have trouble sleeping at night and have a hard time staying awake in class during the day. Sometimes they have a love/hate relationship with the parent that perpetrates the violence and the parent that tolerates the abuse.
Sometimes a child will blame himself or herself for the violence taking place. Nevertheless, children learn from what they are exposed to. If they see it or hear it they are being trained to believe it's the right thing to do. Parents, siblings, and other family members are the first examples. For example, if a boy is repeatedly exposed to his father, step-father, brother, uncles or boyfriend beating his mom he will think it's OK. He is at risk of physically abusing his sister. When his mom beats him for hitting his sister he will become angry and confused. He learned how to engage in violence, aggression, uncontrolled anger and victimization while witnessing the abuse of his mother.
It's never too late to break the cycle of domestic and family violence. It's never just the victim of abuse that's impacted. Exposure to violence, neglect, abuse by someone you know, love and should have been able to trust leaves emotional, spiritual, physical, social, financial, sexual wounds. While we can't undo anything that took place in our past we can work to right the wrongs. We can learn to listen. We can make help restore lives. We can make a difference.
If you or your child is in need of anger management, behavioral health, addiction or divorce recovery support contact us for a consultation. Please fill out the contact form and Customer Care will be in touch. Thank you.
Building a Healthy Marriage
The key to having a healthy and happy family is a healthy marriage. Today as we look at the state of marriages we wonder if having a healthy and happy family is possible. Let's explore first-time marriages.
Studies reveal the average age for men is 26 and the average age for women is 24. According to Dr. H. Norman Wright, almost half of first-time marriages fail. Let's look at four principle reasons why some first-time marriages
fail. One reason is that some people do not understand stages in their individual development and are therefore less likely to think about how this can impact a marital relationship.
The second reason is that not every person had an adequate basis upon which to build their personal identity. In other words if personal identity, development and beliefs are unhealthy, negative or key relationships were problematic this creates the risk for later in life problems.
A third reason some marriages fail is because some people enter marriage with unresolved issues such as growing up in a dysfunctional family, traumatic childhood experiences, foster care and child welfare, alcoholism and substance abuse issues, undiagnosed mental illness, and marriage problems of their parents or caretakers.
Lastly, some marriages were dissolved because the couple were unprepared for the marriage and their expectations of each other, marriage and family were unrealistic. Today, marriage and family counseling and support is available.
Studies show about 80% of married couples struggle with the inability to communicate. One of the most important investments some couples make for their marriage is pre-marital counseling, couples coaching and biblical mentoring.
What topics are explored? Understand the purpose of marriage, effective communication, conflict resolution, healing childhood hurts, boundaries, overcoming your parents divorce, financial crisis intervention, sexuality, parenting and spiritual wholeness can be explored in pre-marital counseling as well as ongoing marriage coaching.
As author and speaker, Dr. Gary Smalley notes in, Love Is A Decision, by Gary Smalley and John Trent, "Deep-seated problems don't vanish instantly without consistent work by the couple and relying on God's strength for daily endurance". Having a healthy and happy marriage takes work. A healthy marriage is the key to a healthy family.
Does having good relationships take work? Yes, and there are couples doing their interpersonal and marriage work.
Every relationship experiences some conflict. Dr. Wright shares10 key strategies for coping with conflict.
1. Don't avoid conflict with the silent treatment.
2. Don't save emotional trading stamps.
3. If possible, prepare the setting for the disagreement.
4. Attack the problem, not each other.
5. Don't throw feelings like stones.
6. Stay on the subject.
7. Offer solutions with your criticisms.
8. Never say, "You never.."
9. Don't manipulate your mate.
10. Be humble; you could be wrong.
Larry and Nordis Christenson in their book, The Christian Couple, offers this insight: "Healing does not come from the outside. It comes from within the one who has been hurt. A doctor may set a broken arm and put it in a cast, but the power to mend the bone is released from within the person's own body".
By diligently seeking to learn how to improve conflict -resolution skills, fertile soil is plowed that will ultimately provide a seed bed for effective, healing communication in a marriage. These communication skills can also serve as tools to greatly enhance the couple's parenting skills and abilities. If you're interested exploring how to have a happy and healthy marriage through pre-marital counseling, couple's bible study or marriage coaching contact us today!
Healing Beyond Childhood Trauma
Did you know that most people in the US have at least one ACE? ACE's are adverse childhood experiences that not only causes harm to the brain of children it changes they way they respond to the stresses of life, compromises their immune systems and causes other chronic health conditions over their lifetime. According to a CDC Kaiser Permanente ACE Study childhood trauma and ACE places people at risk for depression, chronic diseases, mental illness, financial problems, social problems and becoming a victim of violence and sexual crimes.
Other ACE surveys have expanded the types of ACE's and those findings while not surprising are also noted below. Below are traumatic experiences linked to social, financial, mental, emotional and physical problems.
1. A family member who is diagnosed with a mental illness or depressed.
2. Witnessing a mother being abused.
3.A family member who is addicted to drugs or alcohol.
4. Physical, sexual and verbal abuse.
5. A family member who is in prison.
6. Parental separation or divorce.
7. Physical or emotional neglect.
8. Living in an unsafe neighborhood.
9. Experiencing or witnessing racism.
10. Witnessing violence outside of the home.
11. Involvement with the foster care system.
12. Losing a family member due to deportation.
13. Witnessing a father being abused by a mother.
14.Living in a war zone.
15.Being bullied by a peer or adult.
If you have one or more ACE's you are not alone. Research shows that nearly two-third of adults have at least one. Additionally, the scores are even more revealing. For example people with an ACE score of 4 are twice as likely to smoke and seven times more likely to struggle with alcoholism addiction. Additionally, a score of 4 or more is likely to increase the risk of chronic diseases such as emphysema or chronic bronchitis by 400 percent, while also increasing the risk for attempted suicide by 1200. ACE's is also linked to chronic workplace absenteeism, ER visits, mental illness, criminal justice involvement and increased healthcare costs.
The higher the ACE score the more likely it is that people with these scores have more marriages, violence, drug prescriptions, increased risk for broken bones, greater struggles with depression and autoimmune diseases. Studies show that the life span of individuals with an ACE score 6 or higher are at risk for being shortened by 20 years.
The impact of childhood traumatic experiences doesn't just go away as people age. Rather, what a person has lived through directly or indirectly leaves bits and pieces. Harmful traces of the past that keeps showing up has the ability to be passed down from one generation to the next causing generational cycles of unhealed trauma and strongholds.
While the brain does not know the difference between one kind of traumatic experienced and toxic stress from the other we are not stuck with stressed out brains, painful memories, chronic diseases, mental illness or substance abuse.
It's essential that people receive an effective diagnosis from an effective team of caring medical professionals who can create qualified treatment plan so the journey to healing and recovery can begin.
Wishing you health and wellness,
Patrina M Torres, Founder, Totally Healed International
NCCA Certified Temperament Counselor, Certified Instructor
School of Counseling, S.A.C.C. Certified Academic Institution
Email: [email protected]
|Posted on May 21, 2020 at 4:42 PM||comments (262)|
Thank you for taking time to read Part II of this blog post to help celebrate the success of Brandon Wright, Class of 2020 Felician University Graduate. Here's what his sister, Ebony wanted to share.
"When I learned that Brandon was looking to further his education I was ready to journey with him. Supporting wasn't always easy, but with the help of God, we made it. We are grateful and blessed.
Having a positive mindset helped guide his on this journey. I always told him to keep going and work hard. He always studied and was eager to learn. He was always proud when he accomplished his goals.
I've always tried to give him what I know. While Brandon lived on campus we stayed in touch through FaceTime and phone calls. He would come home every couple of weeks to stay for a weekend and sometimes he would stay on campus to study and get more work done. Sometimes I would bring him a care package with his favorite meals and snacks just to make his smile.
While he was away working my focus was making sure he was safe at school and in a great environment. As long as he was, OK, I was OK. If I could have shared words at Brandon's graduation I would have told him you CAN be whatever you want to be in life. You CAN go where you want to go as long as you stay consistent. You make me so proud to be your sister. I pray for your future and I see GREATNESS inside of you!! With Love, Your Sister, "Ebony".
We wanted to give Brandon an opportunity to share and give a shout out to family, friends and Felician University Class of 2020 classmates.
"Felician University without you guys motivating me in every way possible and providing me with so many great opportunities I'm not sure if college would have been such a smooth process. I would like to give a shout-out to the business professors for keeping it brutally honest on how the work world works. Letting us know when you're not the only person who want a six figure job out of college, being different matters and having a great work ethic can outlast your competition.
Furthermore, I've met some great souls while studying at Felician University, too many to name. However,
I appreciate everyone I was able to make memories with that will last a lifetime. Additionally, I would like to express words of appreciation to my family and closest friends. You motivated me and pushed me to keep going throughout my entire four years. I can't thank you enough nor would I trade you for anything.
I am extremely grateful to have all of you in my life and I know anyone else in this world would be too.
Out of everyone, I want to give the most credit to my sister, Ebony Wright, for being the mother figure in my life for almost have of it. Words can't explain how much I appreciate you.
But one day I will find a way to express it in the most beautiful way ever. But until then, I just want to say, even though our mother hasn't been with us for sometime now, she sure did a substantial job raising me into a great young man she would be proud of.
Congratulations again Brandon and Ebony! We pray God's richest blessings over your life as you work towards the fulfillment your dreams. Reach your greatest potential and fulfill your life purpose. We are extremely proud of this milestone. We believe great doors will open for you in the marketplace!
Wishing you great success!
Your Family & Your Friends
Crossroad Women and Family Services
"Aspire to College"
|Posted on May 19, 2020 at 4:06 PM||comments (107)|
Saturday, May 16, 2020 we attended a virtual graduation for Felician University class of 2020. We were excited to view this event because my nephew, Brandon Wright, was part of the graduating class of 2020. Although it was VIRTUAL due to the COVID-19 Pandemic we could not have been more EXCITED.
Brandon earned his BA degree in Business Administration. He is the son of one of my beloved sister's Carmella A. Wright (October 15, 1968 - August 23, 2011) and grandson of my parents, Bishop James D. Wright, Sr and Pastor Margaret A. Wright. He is also the dearly loved brother of Ms. Ebony Wright. Brandon also has aunts (Delphine, Glinda, Wenda) an uncle (James D. Wright, Jr) cousins, friends and extended friends who are also very proud of this milestone and new beginning in his life.
While everyone loves and supports Brandon, his greatest cheerleader, mentor, encouragement has been his beloved sister, Ebony, who just like her mother, is passionate about children.
Ebony is an early childhood professional. She is dedicated, creative, compassionate, loving and nurturing. She loves her job and the children she teaches loves Ms.Ebony too! Prior to the death of her mother, Ebony served well as a caregiver to both her mom and brother Brandon.
Ebony and Brandon has been one of the closest sibling TEAMS I've ever met. They love and respect each other and hold each other accountable. Their hard work, discipline, courage, tenacity wasn't easy. Nothing is ever achieved without any life adversity, loss, setbacks and challenges.
"I just want to add that before my mom died, she said, 'Make sure my (Tank) "Brandon" is okay and she gave me all the cards and documents", said Ebony. "I wrote her a letter and put it in her hand in her casket and said, 'Mommy, I will make sure your baby is fine. We will be alright. Rest now".
It wasn't easy writing this blog. I miss my sister dearly. One thing I know for sure is with faith, family, and a few good friends hurts can heal and setbacks can become stepping stones. Virtual graduation commencement May 16, 2020 was a special day of celebration, memory and destiny.
Brandon Wright, was born June 22, 1998 and raised by a single mother who loved him very much.
Brandon attended Macedonia Redeemed Pentecostal Church, under the leadership of his grand-parents.
After graduating from Public School #41 in Jersey City, NJ he attended University Academy Charter High School. After graduating in 2016 he attended Felician University, a private Catholic university preparing today's students to become 21st century leaders today and tomorrow.
Brandon was very active on campus. He served as president of EOF, young entrepreneurs club, a residence assistant and a mentor. Some of his favorite subjects were marketing, business management, psychology, criminal justice, business ethics, and sports management.
When asked about what he loved most he said, "What I loved most about the college is the diversity, different cultures, backgrounds and ethnicities". His favorite place to eat was called Boom Boom chicken, a Korean Restaurant located approximately five minutes away from campus. "Their chicken with garlic soy sauce was immaculate", added Brandon.
Interviewing Brandon for this blog gave me an opportunity to learn more about my nephew. I've always been passionate about education and helping students discover their potential and fulfill their purpose. It was a blessing learning about some of his future aspirations, dreams and goals.
"My future goal is to have multiple businesses 100% owned by me and create a fortune 500 company with my surname. I want to give back to every school I went to, start a scholarship fund for minority students who want to further their education and provide a better and consistent stable life for my family". WOW!!! WOW!!!! Dreams do become reality when we write a vision and make it plain.
We're happy to announce that Brandon Wright has been selected to be the recipient of the Crossroad Women and Family Services Aspire to College Class of 2020 Achievement Award. Congratulations Brandon!
If you and your family, business, organization, church or ministry would like to send a gift of any size
to Brandon Wright and Ebony Wright you can mail your gift to Crossroad Women and Family Services, Aspire to College Program, Post Office Box 2421, Kingston, NY 12402.
You can also Cash App your gift to ($CWFS) Crossroad Women and Family Services.
If you have any questions or comments please email [email protected]
Please stay tuned for our next blog- where Brandon will give a special message to family, friends, mentors and professors. Thank you taking time to share in this special occasion.
With Hearts of Gratitude,
Patrina Wright-Torres, Executive Director
Reyes Torres, Jr., Men's Outreach
Crossroad Women and Family Services
|Posted on September 10, 2018 at 2:29 PM||comments (2)|
It happened in 2004 but I can remember the scene just as if it was yesterday. As I drove on Tonnelle Avenue in Jersey City, New Jersey I noticed a woman pushing a shopping cart. It wasn't filled with grocery bags put personal items. Alongside of this woman were two beautiful children. I couldn't help but wonder about the circumstances that this woman and her precious children were facing and how could I help.
Without thinking about anything other than how I could possibly help I turned my mini-van around. I got out and offered her a ride. At first, she was very resistant. Perhaps she thought that I might be from an agency such as Welfare, Department of Social Services or Child Protective Services and wanted to take her children. But I gently explained that I was a long-time resident of the city, a mother and newspaper reporter who simply wanted to help. I shared with her that my concern was for their safety and well-being, which meant getting them off of that busy highway and taking her wherever she wanted to go.
She agreed to offer and I helped her and the children into my mini-van. But as we begin to talk what I learned deeply troubled me. This family was homeless and walking on the highway because the hotel voucher received from Salvation Army expired. This was a mother whose heart was broken into pieces because her family was torn apart. The voucher didn't accommodate her two teenagers.
This single mother of four had no place to go, no food, no job, no Section 8 and not even a floor to sleep on or an abandoned car to use as shelter returning to an abusive, raging alcoholic with her two small children was not an option. Enough was enough. She was BREAKING THE CYCLE.
As I listened to her story I knew this was a divine appointment and trusted that God was already at work. Even though this family was Hispanic and I am a African-American woman of color none of that mattered.
I took this family to my parent's house, where I knew they would receive a home-cooked meal, some clothes, prayer and a safe place their weary souls would find rest.
While my family was in one part of the house entertaining my new friends I was in the back of the house making calls to advocate on their behalf. My spiritual eyes wouldn't let me see this family, drive pass and leave them behind. When you're compelled to step out on faith and stand in the gap something good is going to happen. When you're trying to help someone raise your level of expectation.
I made several calls and not every response was favorable but I didn't give up. Finally, because I wasn't taking, "NO" for an answer this family was placed on the path to a NEW beginning. Everyone has a story. Abuse is a crime. Abuse is painful. Abuse traumatizes. Abuse breaks hearts. Abuse wounds spirits. Abuse damages life. Yet, even abuse doesn't determine your destiny.
No matter what darkness you faced with God has a plan and a purpose for your life. Your life matters. The life of your children matters. With the support of a compassionate and caring people individuals and resources families can break the cycle and begin again.
We'd like to invite you to join us on Saturday. September 29, 2018 for SOS Breaking the Cycle of Fatherlessness 2018. This strengths-based conference will inform, engage, inspire and empower fathers with tools and supportive relationships designed to help him become the man he is capable of being.
Children who grow up with fathers involved are less likely to live in poverty. Therefore standing by and watching children fail due to lack of a positive role model or mentor is not an option. To register or become a sponsor please complete the registration page below. Thank you so much! We look forward to hearing from you. Take care and have an AMAZING MONDAY!
Here's the link for SOS Breaking the Cycle of Fatherlessness Registration page:
|Posted on June 15, 2018 at 2:19 PM||comments (2)|
The blog post is an excerpt from the book, The Exodus Breaking Cycles and Changing Lives: Repositioning Your Soul to Thrive After Domestic Violence- Chapter 1, "Moment of Truth".
I've come to understand that it doesn't matter how much you want someone to change in order for change to take place that person MUST desire change. Everyone knows at least one person who chooses not to change. They can bump their heads up against a wall 100 times and still not change. People have to get sick and tired of being sick and tired before they change. Some people have not hurt enough, lost enough, suffered enough, cried enough or felt like they were DYING enough to change.
It's amazing. If you visit your old neighborhood and see some of the same people doing some of the same things they have chosen not to change. My point is this. God can CHANGE anybody but the individual have to want it. There are former batterers who have allowed the Spirit of God to TRANSFORM their lives and there are also those who REFUSE to take responsibility and seek help needed to experience lasting change.
Change and transformation isn't an overnight process. It's interesting some people can fake change. They can confess with their mouths that they see the light but within their hearts they have no intention of walking in the light. Some people confess CHANGE only after they've finally been caught. So why is it so easy for us to accept people's testimonies that they've been changed while they continuing battering?
Only in the church can a violent person sit in the office of the pastor and confess they have changed and have their story believed. Yet, before the couple arrives home there are verbal, physical and mental attacks.
What's wrong with that picture? WISDOM is crying out to us. True transformation involves a process between the offended and the offender. It involves repentance, confession and forsaking abuse.
Where are the Godly STANDARDS of accountability and responsibility in the church? Have they taken a back seat? Some people only appear remorseful after they've been exposed not because they really want to change. Men who have no remorse feel they have the right to have power and control over women.
The church has played a role in men having that kind of mindset. Lives are being lost everyday because we are not telling the truth about domestic violence. Find out what resources are available by contacting:
Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network- 800-656-HOPE
National Organization for Victim Assistance- 800-TRY-NOVA
National Organization of Parents of Murdered Children - 888-818-POMC
Resource Center on Domestic Violence, Child Protection and Custody- 800-52-PEACE
National Human Trafficking Resource Center - 888-373-7888
National Center for Missing and Exploited Children- 800-THE-LOST
Childhelp USA National Hotline- 800-4-A-CHILD
Can a violent man change? Yes, he can but it takes more than a sermon and the laying on of hands. Therapy, abuse treatment, accountability partners and personal responsibility are part of the process. It's also going to take a contrite spirit. A man who desires change must come to terms with his personal issues of brokenness rather than continue to blame others. He has to be able to look at all the pain and suffering he has caused his family. He must be ready to deal with the wars that are waging inside of him.
A man must not be forced to change. He must be ready. Until then all attempts at making him change are a waste of time. Your love won't change him. Your cooking won't change him. Your money won't change him. Your smile or perfume won't change him. Ladies, you can back it up, flip it over and do it all over again and he can still treat you like trash and beat you like there is no tomorrow.
Victims of child sexual abuse, sexual assault, campus rape, relationship abuse, human trafficking or incest are wound in spirit, soul and body. When worth and value has been attacked you suffer from isolation, depressed, fear and anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts, addiction and mental health issues. Victims must learn when to call 911. No one whether adult, child, elderly or pet deserves to be assaulted.
Need legal counsel? You have a right to protect yourself, your family, your business, your income and your identity. For more information visit the following link and learn how Legal Shield can help.
|Posted on March 6, 2018 at 3:40 PM||comments (1196)|
Unchained Breaking Cycles and Changing Lives Youth Empowerment Conference
Every student has the ability to learn and grow. Children who cultivate a love for learning can identify their purpose and flourish as healthy, productive adults. Regardless of income, color, nationality, educational status, or zip code every parent has a dream for his or her child to succeed in life. Even parents who have not completed their high school diploma have high hopes for their children to become purpose driven adults and difference makers in their field or industry.
Nationwide educational institutions are facing crisis. Unpredictable and unsafe environments, school violence, sexual assaults, bullying, campus rape, threats and teen suicides continues to impact students, school personnel, families and entire communities. Law enforcement, first responders and grief crisis counselors are diligently serving these hurting communities. Unfortunately, the impact of these events often last longer the one can imagine.
Patrina Torres minister, author, pastoral counselor and CEO of Crossroad Women and Family Services is hosting “Unchained Breaking Cycles and Changing Lives”. This youth empowerment conference is scheduled to be held on Saturday, April 282018, from 12:00 PM to 5 PM at the J. Watson Bailey Middle School, 118 Merilina Avenue, Kingston, NY. The conference will feature authors, empowerment speakers, music, food, and prizes.
Patrina Torres will sign copies of her book entitled, The Exodus Breaking Cycles and Changing Lives: Repositioning Your Soul to Thrive After Domestic Violence. “The purpose of the conference is to heal hearts, restore hope, renew minds. School violence is a very important public health and safety issue. All across America innocent students, parents, siblings are trying to put the broken pieces of their lives back together”, said Torres. “We want to offer encouragement, comfort and empowerment for Ulster County students and families”, she added.
Individuals, businesses, families or faith communities interested in more information or would like to learn about sponsorship opportunities are invited send an email to [email protected]
We look forward to hearing from you. Thank you so much!
Unchained Breaking Cycles and Changing Lives
Youth Conference 2018 Team
|Posted on March 2, 2018 at 4:30 PM||comments (106)|
In honor of Women's History Month we are offering a copy of the book, "The Exodus Breaking Cycles and Changing Lives: Repositioning Your Soul to THRIVE after Domestic Violence". In this book we teach people how to break the chains of abuse, move from shame to grace and from surviving to thriving.
This is a SPECIAL OFFER being made available throughout March which will enable us to make a difference in a third world country. When you purchase a copy of this life changing book The Exodus Breaking Cycles and Changing Lives you will be changing the lives of children.
A portion of the proceeds will help build a roof for a children's ministry/orphanage in Uganda. Would you consider joining us. We need your help.
Here's how to you can help. Please visit the following link https://form.jotform.com/80605577084158 to download the product order form. Please mail your completed form to and $25.00 payment to:
Crossroad Women and Family Services
c/o The Exodus Breaking Cycles & Changing Lives
Post Office Box 2421, Kingston, New York 12402.
If you are gifting a copy of the book to a relative, friend, employee or colleague please let us know if you would like to have the book autographed. We'd be happy to!
If you have any questions don't hesitate to email us at [email protected]
Please feel FREE to share SPECIAL OFFER with a friend, sister-friend, classmate or student.
We're thankful that you are joining us. God bless you and may heaven smile upon you.
In His Service!
|Posted on August 3, 2017 at 1:21 PM||comments (2)|
In the Bible there is a man who had been suffering for 38 years. That's a long time to be sick whether spiritually, emotionally, financially, socially or mentally. When you're sick for a very long time you can get to the place where you don't believe healing is possible.
The GOOD NEWS is you don't have to be handicapped and unable to move forward. Regardless of what anyone else does or says the POWER of choice is always on your side.
Will you choose to be made whole again?
Wholeness is a choice. Don't allow your past to bleed into your future. By following God's principles for wholeness your wounds will heal. Your soul will be redeemed and your whole life will be restored. You cannot heal by yourself but God can help you to heal. Brokenness doesn't happen overnight and neither does healing. Give God time to make you over again. Allow Him to give you an extreme makeover from the inside out. Be made whole in your spirit, soul and body.
If you are going to thrive and prosper there is work. Should you seek faith-based counseling and support groups make sure these ministries are being guided by the Word of God and the Holy Spirit.
The Word of God is the greatest book ever written under the inspiration of the Spirit of God. It's the only book whose author will never die. The Holy Spirit gives interpretation, revelation and illumination. He gives us the spiritual wisdom and understanding we need to apply the truth to our lives. I'm not suggesting that the journey is easy. The more you do the Word, the more you will see that the Word of God is true.
The key is remembering you are not alone. God will give you the strength to do what needs to be done.
You can take your life, self-esteem, hope and dreams back. But this time when you get your stuff back you'll know how to keep it. Get ready to reclaim your life and identity.
You will be free from hopelessness, despair and confusion. You will be free from feelings of hate and no self-worth. You will heal from your scars. You will LOVE being you. You will SUCCEED and you will LEAD. Nothing will be impossible for you if you believe. Learning how to become teachable prepares
you for CHANGE. Are you tired of being sick and tired? So it is with those who grow and change.
When you get sick and tired of your own self, you will be willing to trade in your sorrow and shame.
You will be willing to let go of what has always BEEN so that you can accept what will be.
Finally, believe that you CAN experience a NEW LIFE. It's going to take some work but it's nothing you can't handle. You survived didn't you? NOW, it's time to learn how to THRIVE.
You're going to another level!!!
|Posted on August 3, 2017 at 10:33 AM||comments (128)|
The following excerpt is from my book, The Exodus Breaking Cycles and Changing Lives: Repositioning your soul to thrive after domestic violence.
While everything that happen doesn't feel good in the end it can still turn around and work out in your favor. If you give God sometime when He turns it around you will find yourself saying, "Thanks I needed that".
Have you ever been betrayed? If so, what you experienced may have felt very similar to the sorrow that Jesus felt in the betrayal of Judas. People betray people. But God will never betray you. Though some experiences will cause us to believe that He will, despite the betrayal of other people you can trust Almighty God. He is not like man. He'l never leave or betray you.
The fear of betrayal by God is the trick of the enemy. The number one goal is to paralyze you. The enemy wants you to think that God isn't going to come through for you. But the devil is a liar.
Did you know that deliverance could be right in front of your face and fear will cause you to fight against your own deliverance? But if you fight against it you are putting yourself at-risk. You need God's help. You need His hand. You need His saving power. You need His grace.
God cannot work with fear because it is opposite of faith. God needs to see your faith. He needs you to trust His hand and His plan. Fear and lack of trust are strongholds of the mind. Fear is faith that's been contaminated. What you believe will impact your will which is [what you do] and your emotions [how you react]. Trust God and His plan. Experience victory and walk in truth.
"Then you will know the truth and the truth will set you free" [John 8:32].
The truth can make you free but you must believe and obey the truth. When you know the truth, think the truth and do the truth you are freeing yourself from the painful consequences of unbelief. Walking in deception is painful. Jesus was the most powerful man that walked the earth. He turned water into wine, healed the sick, gave sight to the blind, walked on water, fed five thousand with five loaves and two fish. Yet, He could not perform any miracles in His own hometown.
Why? Because the people would not believe. Because of unbelief in the hearts and minds of the people some sick folk remained unhealed. If you want to activate the healing power of God in your life which will cause you to thrive you must believe! I don't care how young, middle-aged or elderly you are. Anyone who has ever experienced domestic violence is in need of healing, restoration and reconciliation. We need to be reconciled to God and reconciled to other people.
God is the true source and His Word is full of promises. When you believe and receive the Word healing, restoration and reconciliation can be yours. Perhaps you have a bitter taste in your mouth because of what you have been through. Once you taste and see that the Lord is good your life will be different. Not only is He good, His mercy endures forever. You are God's treasured possession and He delights in you.
May You Prosper and Be In Good Health!
|Posted on July 6, 2017 at 7:59 AM||comments (1)|
Women have been speaking up and standing against the evil of child abuse, neglect and cruelty, violence, oppression, sexual assault and rape. Women have been standing in the gap for daughters and sons, nieces and nephews. They've help raise grand-children, hurting and lonely children, neighborhood children and children of those for which they worked. Women have served as spiritual mothers, mentors and mid-wives. The work isn't easy. Story after story. Case after case.
The tears, fears, sorrow and grief becomes overwhelming. When a person is paralyzed by fear and hurting from deep wounds, a broken spirit and clinical depression they can become too weak to pray. When you know someone is in trouble you don't just look the other way. You stand in the gap. You pray and you never stop praying for their hurts, their wounds, shattered dreams and broken promises.
Standing against evil, injustice and oppression in order to fight for mercy, compassion, justice, help and healing, for the vulnerable and the voiceless takes conviction, courage and commitment. Character is developed in the hard places. The making of a man happens through life tests, trials and setbacks.
In times of hardship and overwhelming challenges something in you is birthed and it's built to last.
Do you when you stand up for what's right when others sit down? Do you speak up, when others ignore, excuse or justify wrong and remain silent? Do you give when others manipulate and take?
Perhaps you are one of the few good men still fighting the good fight of faith. When you stand for something you stand out and you'll never be forgotten.
There is still room for a few good men. Men willing to stand in the gap as mentors, coaches, supporters and iron sharpening iron. Men willing to speak up and speak out, "Not on my watch". Men willing to repair the walls and protect the gates. Men who are sons, fathers, husbands, uncles, grand-fathers and step-fathers are wanted in this hour. There are mothers, daughters, sisters, nieces, aunts, grand-mothers who desperately need you to lift your voice and raise your hands to pray and work...
Perhaps you know one or some of these women. Perhaps you of her silent years of heartbreak. As quiet as it's kept she was paralyzed by fear, anxiety and depression, mental illness, control and manipulation, shame, guilt and a sense of loyalty. She wondered what people would say or if she sought to protect herself and the children. Would they believe her? Would she be treated harshly or criticized for saying such nonsense?
Yes, things have gotten better in society, but evil and oppression hasn't stopped. Today, single women with children are left to navigate life alone. Many have been abandoned, betrayed, lied on, laughed at, mocked, displaced, separated and divorced just to save their lives.
Historically women have been criticized, judged and blamed by people who felt they should stay. Not realizing that her struggle isn't over. Common experiences include chronic homelessness, unemployment and poverty, low self esteem, stressed induced sickness, family court battles. The emotional, mental, financial, social and educational impact this has on the children is devastating, discouraging and depressing.
Daily girls and women are being abused, raped, prostituted, trafficked, beaten, murdered, kidnapped, tortured and bullied. Will you be one of the few good men to stand in the gap for girls and women as if they were your own daughters, mothers and sisters. One make CAN make a difference. Will you be the one?
We'd love to hear your feedback/ thoughts. Do you have a story to share?
Drop us an email at [email protected]
|Posted on May 3, 2017 at 4:04 PM||comments (21)|
Rebuilding your life after unexpected twists, turns and storms isn't a one time event. It is a process. Renewal, recovery and restoration doesn't happen overnight. It takes time. Many women are in different seasons of life. If you're in a storm, hold on you're going to come through. You will make it to the other side. Perhaps you're coming out of a challenging situation of some sort.
Maybe you've been feeling stuck for quite sometime and don't know why or how to get unstuck. Perhaps, all is well and you're pregnant with a dream, vision or purpose for your life.
Wherever you are I'd like to invite you to join me and other women for "Women Healing Women". This is a new coaching series we're hosting for women. On a monthly basis there will be a theme-based teaching series designed to help you connect with matters of the heart. We're going to empower you to breakthrough barriers and move you forward with greater clarity, peace, purpose, wisdom, maturity and confidence.
Women Healing Women is now enrolling 25 women for the program. I"m excited about this because what I've discovered is that every woman CAN HEAL another woman.
Let's look at the word...HEAL can you provide healing, encouragement, acceptance and love to someone? If you're reading this post I believe that you already do HEAL. Even healers need to be receivers. As a wife, mother, grand-mother, sister, aunt, friend and mentor to women and young girls God's BEST for families
is my heart's desire. As a Jesus lover, preacher, teacher, storyteller, survivor, healer, advocate, conference speaker and entrepreneur I'm compelled to deliver a message of HOPE, HELP and HEALING.
My journey working with women begin in 2004. It has been one of the most rewarding, meaningful, and precious opportunities I've been given. Like other women I too have experienced single parenting, marriage, divorce and going through what felt like, "Hell in the Hallways".
I've also mourned the loss of a sister and uncle that I loved very much and didn't get a chance to say, "goodbye" to. Ministry never stopped, recovery continues and healing is our daily bread. Trouble doesn't last always. Restoration, recovery, renewal, restitution, relaunch and rejuvenation is yours!
I encourage YOU to enroll for women healing women, 25 slots are available and I expect that they will fill up fast. Get ready to experience laughter, tears, joy, relief and liberation. My goal is to provide a safe place for women to grow and enriching space to connect and be connected. Tomorrow is not promised. We must not wait for others to do for us what each of us can do and neither of us should do alone.
Women Healing Women see details are below. To ENROLL, please EMAIL your first and last name, address, email address, phone number and a registration form will be emailed to you.
If you have any questions please email [email protected] or call 845-853-3884. Thank you and I hope to see you on the other side for Women Healing Women Friday, May 5th!
What: Women Healing Women Teleconference Training
When: Every Friday, May 5, 2017 through June 2, 2017
Time: 6:30 PM - 7:30 PM
Topic: Women Healing Abuse Survivors and Protecting Children
Patrina M Torres